so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
