hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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