Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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