I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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