At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
