You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I checked into jail on foursquare
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
