It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
