how can u be prego again
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
