it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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