we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
