I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize