She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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