Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
