how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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