I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
You made out with two different species that night
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
