Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
