I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
