I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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