Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Randomize
