I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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