she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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