rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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