Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
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