i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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