six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Randomize
