I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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