discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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