Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
