There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
