Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
