first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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