Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
