Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
