i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
