Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
