This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
