Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Randomize
