One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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