i need an iv and a liver transplant
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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