O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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