can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
