is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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