just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
