i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
