States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
