Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Randomize
