if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
