im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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