Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
