So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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