That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Randomize
