my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
