the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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