we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
