Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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