yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
