butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
