And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
