Kiss
Puke
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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