possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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