His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
