You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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