the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
