Having a random hookup so left but love u
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
