I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
How does one acquire holy water?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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