Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
