It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
