He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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