he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
