Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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