i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
