just tell him i said nine months
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
try to milk me bitch
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
