i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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