Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
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